Murray Hill has built a career making people laugh, but behind his upbeat stage persona, the comedian was facing a struggle that left him feeling nothing like himself. The “Somebody Somewhere” actor is opening up about alcoholism, the depression he experienced, and the psychiatric hospital stay that became a turning point in his life.
In his newly released memoir, “Showbiz! My Life as a Middle-Aged Man,” Hill looks back on that difficult chapter. Now, he’s sharing why the experience still stays with him and why he hasn’t touched alcohol since seeking help in 2014.
Murray Hill Says Drinking Became Part Of His Show Business Life
Speaking with Page Six in a recent exclusive interview, Hill described how nights spent performing and socializing helped drinking become a regular part of his routine. “Show business or the music industry or comedy, whatever, it’s like a lot of people do drink; it’s part of the lifestyle,” he said.
For the cabaret performer, being out at night meant spending plenty of time in places where alcohol was readily available. “You’re out every night, you’re in the clubs, you’re at bars. In some ways, to me, alcohol is like a silent killer because it’s progressive …it’s a progressive addiction, so it gets worse and worse.”
Hill reflects on those years in his memoir, describing a struggle that developed during his 30s.
Hill was clear that the drinking he described eventually bore little resemblance to a fun night out. He called the escalation “not fun” and emphasized that “it’s not partying.” Instead, he said, “it does all kinds of damage.”
The performer also spoke about the difficulty of stopping once he had become dependent on alcohol, explaining that getting through it required help. “When you get chemically addicted, it’s very hard to get out of that. Like you have to get help,” he reflected.
And as his drinking worsened, he said his emotional state changed too. The entertainer known for bringing energy and personality to a room began struggling to find either within himself.
Murray Hill Says He Felt Like He Had ‘No Personality Left’
One of Hill’s most painful recollections concerns the depression he experienced toward the end of that period. “I was at a very low point,” he shared. “I was in this deep depression, and all jammed up with, like, because alcoholism is progressive. When I got to the end of that, I had no pilot light. It was like barely on. So there was no hope; I didn’t have any personality left. It was very depressing. So, you know, I didn’t want to go through that anymore. I didn’t want to be like that because I felt like it wasn’t me, and it freaked me out.”
Hill described more than exhaustion after another late night. He remembered feeling that the person he had become was unfamiliar to him, and he wanted a way out of that state. That desire to feel like himself again ultimately brought him to a decision he still remembers vividly.
A Psychiatric Hospital Stay Became His Turning Point
In 2014, Hill checked himself into a psychiatric ward in an effort to get help. He said the experience led to sobriety, though his memories of the stay remain frightening. “I never want to go back. I have not touched a drink since then,” the “Life & Beth” actor said.
Hill did not dress up the experience as an easy breakthrough. Instead, he explained that remembering how difficult it was has stayed with him throughout the years since. “And so maybe it was good in that way to go through that awful experience there because, you know, it’s still in my head like I don’t want to go back there. ‘Why?’ Cause it was so scary.”
More than a decade later, Hill says he has continued to stay away from alcohol. The memory of reaching that low point, and of seeking help, remains part of how he talks about his sobriety today.
Murray Hill Shares The Personal Story Behind His Showbiz Persona
With “Showbiz! My Life as a Middle-Aged Man” now released, Hill is letting readers see a side of his life that audiences might never have guessed from his stage presence.
Hill can still deliver the humor fans know him for while being candid about how difficult those years became. This time, the story he’s telling is deeply personal, including the moment he knew he needed help and the decision he says he has maintained ever since.
